Living In The Shadow

Sometimes I hate the life I'm living in. A well-sculptured rainbow capsule people around me built. People look at me and expect me to be happy to live in a pitiable existence. I'm an actress in the play of my life, never a scriptwriter.

I want to drink a cup of tea but I can't b'coz of insomnia. I desire alcohol to help me sleep yet my friends told me I can't b'coz of my allergy. I feel like skipping breakfast this morning, yet it's the most important meal of the day. I like someone but I can't tell this person. People around me are doing what they want, yet I'm preoccupied by this and that. I study Environment Science, yet people tend to think it's all about some fucking recycling slogan. It just seems like child's play to them anyways, just b'coz they are studying some highly prestigious engineering and medicine course. I narrated my friends the big problem I'm in, yet they told me to put on a subtle mask and act something I don't want to.

That's why I tend to think I prefer to live a secluded life sometimes. Telling people what I undergo wounds me more apparently. They snoop arounds on stuffs you are currently up to, then leave you alone to suffer and die. Remaining detached among friends will give their toes off my life. Doing things on my own sometimes leaves me in high spirits. When I try to speak my mind, people disagree and we end up in a heated argument. I long to wake up early everyday so I can go to the community library, yet all these thoughts about someone is creating a feeding ground for insomnia. Back to where we start, why should we wake up at a certain time everyday? Do we actually live in a pre-designed heritage of our ancestors?