Haiz...
I just realise I still can't get you off my mind. It's been so long. Your poison leaves me with no antiserum as remedy. I don't mind. I can't help myself. For two days, I fail to function. I can't do anything. I can't study, I don't have the mood to play computer and I certainly failed to pay attention on what's on TV recently. 'Coz my mind is so full of you and her.
It hurts me to see the happy image of you and her. The intimacy between you two. The close proximity of you holding her tight like that. The joyfulness of her in your arms. My heart was cut open. I had a severe gastric pain and insomnia for two days. I just can't take it. Now I understand why Leona Lewis's "Bleeding Love" is such a hit. It totally describes what am I feeling. The feeling towards you. Although I keep telling myself to move on 'coz there's no point since you are now in a new relationship, I can't. You never tell me in words that you don't accept me. Your act just can't make the deal you know.
Thanks to you, I turned down 3 nice guys. Two good potentials. How silly I was! I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I gave a new guy a love letter but he vanished. I didn't hear from him and I woke up in shock. I don't know whether it's my subconcious mind don't want me to do that or anything.
I feel like I'm an empty soul, wandering around. All the depression I'm going through at this moment. I feel so desolated. You tell me how should I move on. It would be simple to ditch a guys that you don't like. But the matter is I've liked you for such a long time, eight long years to be exact. I'm lost in time. I can't make myself to accept any new relationship.
Thanks to you, I can't read my Chemistry now. I don't care about Organic Chemistry or Inorganic Chemistry, 'coz I only care about the chemistry between you and me. My Paper 4 is going to fail for good. I've been functionless for two days. I feel so empty...
I wish I could forget you. But secretly I wished you and I have never met...
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27 comments:
Woohoo...8 years? 5 potentials? OMG! Haha...who is that lucky guy oo? I want to know...I go ask Pheobe arr? haha
Pheobe dont even know who's that person ok..
i just remember u once told me bout the story. but i didnt know it left such a great impact on you.
sorry to hear that. btw..
learn to move on.. the only word i can say,.
btw. will someday u tell me more of your stories? or perhaps keeping it to urself makes u feel better?
anyway.. dont mind to find we friends if u wish to let it all out. especially hui yao, the best listener i found so far.
>.< I teach you...put his giant picture on your blog =P wakakaka
eddie>> dun be ridiculuos. put his big pic here? he is in a relationship, dun wan to spoil it for his sake. later sum busybodies who wander into this site go n broadcast to everyone.
pheobe>> ya. hard to forget him till this day. although i keep telling myself to forget him, i cnt. i told a few of my friends that i have forgotten him but it's a lie. it haunts me everytime sum1 mentioned him. haiz... so i dun knw whether i rili wan to give the "new guy" a letter coz i m not sure whether i m rili ready to move on. my chemistry is so doomed...
the best way to forget someone is to forget that you have to forget him.. good luck =)
-o- <--- this is how i looked like when i saw this post, i thought you are kidding but doesn't seem like it. wow is what i can say (pardon me for my surprising-ness :S) cos i never thought that your the kind of girl who would go haywire for one guy. well i'm interested in who that lucky guy is haha but you won't tell..i know..i wouldn't if i were you..lol..anyway, it must be tough having a crush on one guy for 8 years hey? 8 years..wow..starting since primary school (WOW~)
well to some extent ppl will have to move on after all, it's just the matter of time, so take your time, but at the same time try not to get important stuff involved (say..exam)
gosh i'm so not good a psychologist lol. it was a right decision not to study psychology haha. cheer up! :)
dont push yourself too hard. well.. i cant really comment on whether u wanna giv the new guy letter, just make sure is a wise choice, and no grief after that. dont simply do it just to forget the previous person. sometimes u feel like revenging, but all of these are useless, it makes u feel more bad if u're rushing to make decisions.
btw, do i know the new guy? tat one? @.@
Girls...girls...Don't expect something from guys if you just stay quiet.
Guys chases girls? Very common, sometimes successful, sometimes not.
Girls chase guys? Surprisingly uncommon...I mean, if you just stay quiet...nothing is going to happen. Sometimes, its the other way round. But its rare ;)
Its not like I am talking about you...its just what I think ;)
*Getting rejected by a guy is better than waiting forever for him to chase you.
yog>> no! i m not that type. i mean i give people the impression that i m that type but i m not that type. i have dual personality sort of like jekyll and hyde, u c. sumtimes wat u c is not the real me.
haiz... it's hard. i have to c him from time to time. Sometimes when sum girls approached him, i dun feel very comfortable (jealous). wat hurts the most is that he is talking to me in the same way as his friends.
pheobe>> dat's wat i m thinking. not fair for him if i do like this. yes u know this new guy. hahax.
actually i feel better after talking nonsense to fun yau this morning. i saw her n i just smile like an idiot to her. feel much better now.
eddie>> of coz i know nothing will happen if i dun do anything! haiz... but i dun wan to do it just to forget him like pheobe said.
btw, i like ur quote "Getting rejected by a guy is better than waiting forever for him to chase you.
"
hyde is cool! haha..well does he know about your feelings? did you confess to him?
hyde is cool???
oh ya he knows in primary school. my busybody friends go n broadcast to everyone after promising they won't tell anyone. at present i dun think so. i assume he assume i dun like him anymore.
LOL, the chance of a guy getting rejected by a girl is higher than the chance of a girl getting rejected by a guy =P Ratio 7:3
*Just another one of my lousy theory =P
har?? what wat?? but.. i never hear any of my girl fren who does the confession wins the guys' heart.. cz i dont have any girl frens that does that.
but as i heard from some of the stories.. they say that some guys dont mind girls to do the confession.. in fact.. they like it. =.= and for we girls.. most of us are spoon feed!!!
i guess.. an exception for u. =P i salute u.
eddie>> haha. but sumtimes it's rili weird. the ratio of Malaysian male to female population is 1:1. Yet sum will end up in polygon love, namely triangle love.
pheobe>> guys nowadays r so weird. sum like girls to do the confession and like it!!! ya lor, girls actually DO like to be spoon feed. haha, even i like to be spoon feed. that's why lots of the ppl ended up unmarried.
Oo...Its true actually. 1st things 1st. Do you notice that teenagers become more lousier year by year? Last time people started dating when they were 18,17,16. But now, Even those who are still studying at primary school are dating already. This is both mine and my Cousin's Joanna's Theory. Its true actually. Because I heard more stuff that happens on the 10~15 years old children.
Think of last time, its not common for girls to chase boys. And boys would definitely hate it if a girl chase a boy. But now, time changes...Not in our generations lar...its still not common. But its very common for those who are born after 1993. Don't believe me? try you find a friend who is 15 years old now and ask them. I got many so I know a lot =P
Guys nowadays are weird? Well, maybe you are considered as the old generation. For mine its acceptable, and I pretty much like it if a girl tell me that she likes me =P.
But for those born after 1993. They sure like it all right. Its not weird to them and its normal. Not only in relationship but in other fields also. Some of them I can't even accept mainly because I am considered as old generation already T_T
Try to think like this, your parents disagree with lots of stuff that you do today right? they can't accept stuff while you can...its because of the time where you live in...In your time, girls chasing boys is weird. but for mine. Its quite acceptable but still got some problems with it. But for the younger ones...Its definitely acceptable and its not weird.
I got a friend. 13 years old this year. 1 girlfriend already and lots of girls chase him =P Well, he is too cute. can't blame his good genes.
Your gen spoon feed still ok lar...but for the next gen ones? I don't think so haha
I am serious, I will be very touched if I received a love letter...Might instantly have feelings for her =P
So far I only have 3 of such experience. 1 very directly, 1 indirectly(Maybe waiting for me gua) and 1 a so-so. All of them are those who are born after 1993. Wel, 1 is 1991 lar....well, time changes =P Next time when you have children then you know lar >.<
Pheobe- You never heard of any of your girl friends ever done that is because of the time line you are living in.
I have many xiao didi xiao mei mei friends...trust me...its very common now....even in primary school =.=
I am still trying to twist my mind to blend in to their society...it takes time...
OMG!!! Thank you Pheobe and CrazyGtown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I owe the both of you BIG!
You reminded me something important! During that time, its not that I don't like her. I am actually waiting for her to tell me >.< I know I had a 100% chance of success but don't know why lar I am waiting for her. Well, it was her who chased me at 1st, if she don't, I doubt I will fall for her at all...Maybe I was still young and stupid during that time =P
I so regret now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eddie>> long post @.@
time line? u make me sound so old la. haha. i m going to be 20 soon. but u r right, the teenagers nowadays rili dunno how to describe them. for instance, we seniors would use to tidy up the table after our lunch. now the seniors r gone, the juniors make such a big mess. did u notice the horrible mess everytime us IS step into the canteen for lunch?
i did hear of that info before. it's rili uncommon for girls to chase guys. i went to pick up my sister n wat did i hear? a primary 4-5 girl asking a boy, "do u rili like me?". and she was looking blankly at the boy's face. i just quickly walk away but if the little girl got rejected... OMG, i wouldn't dream of doing that in my age!!!
n is it i m the only one who finds the boys nowadays r shorter compared to the guys in our age.
i won't mind telling the guy i like that i like him, but he have to give me sum sort of reaction in words. i dun like to wait forever.
no bad. got lots of potentials oso. haha. but haiz... u r oso the same case as me. wait for nothing. u always dream that she will propose to u rite? n u sat there dream n dream on. in the end, she ran away. i m like dat. so sad...
Errm, actualy I waited for her but still...I actually hoped that she won't.
Because
1.I am still young, Not handsome yet with lousy hairstyle and no car
2.If I am with her, the 1st thing is that my Aunt is going to know and then my mom @.@
3.I know it won't last...But now would be the right time...but still it won't last Y_Y
Haha, its normal...and you can't say that they are horrible. If you do, it will be the other way round. your parents will think that you are horrible too.
Nah, not common in your time but its getting more and more common now. I mean really common...You wouldn't dream, but they do
Nah, the boys nowadays are taller...I saw lots of those 13 years old which is taller than me. I mean there are tall and short ones
And one things really bugs me. Why is it that small girls nowadays looks like 17~20 years old? The way they talk, dress, walk and even the face look like one. Except for one thing....the breast is flat >.< Because even my girl friend asked me to look at her niece...the 13 year old niece looks older/more mature than Pheobe and you too...
LOL, you won't mind? Then why the 8 years?
Oo yeah, although its common now for girls to chase a boy...but there is this 1 condition. That boy must be handsome.
I saw my cousin confess to a boy 2 years ago(He is leng zai alright). That boy have a girlfriend already but I think because my cousin go confess, that guy suddenly got this temporary feel gua. So he Dates both girl at the same time...But it does not last....he ditched my cousin after few months.
But If I compare my cousin to his girlfriend...my cousin is way better in every field =P but the feel is what counts, not the appearance.
I even have a video of both my cousin and him holding hands at Centre point =P WAKAKAKAKA
That's why arr...now need to find solution to become leng zai =P WAKAKAKAKA
so senka ah u eddie.. got video tiam..
hmm.. @.@ im impressed with girls that dare to chase guy.. me..
for the moment.. i wont..
im shy *shy*
later kena laugh more cham.. u know la.. guys ego.
urgh.. girls we share and laugh together.. boys?? urgh... some of them.. start printing it and broadcast it.. that's what im really afraid of. but still depends who the person is.
Uhhuuu? What Senka? lol, who ask you to meet those print and broadcast d ppl oo...soi lar you.
Normally its either keep it in the heart or forget about it.
*WARNING!
-Never trust locals(Malaysian) You know Ebay all those? the local ver Mudah.com? Don't go put your AD there. Just now I senka go simply write I can give tuition for lousy SPM student. Guess what? I received a call from a malay guy just now wanting me to help him cheat tomorrow. ask me go meet him again wuar. Think I so Stupid with LOW IQ? Try to manipulate me? I manipulate ppl got lar =P BTW, the reason that I online now is to go delete that AD i put just now...I should be dreaming now if not for that lousy phone call.
*Never trust MALAYSIANS!!!
Trusting English people is better than Asian =.="
wat o eddie? pheobe is rite. guys like to broadcast more lo. like in my primary school, i tell guys n girls in my class bout my crush. the girls keep quiet n the guys just broadcast to the neighbours. the next day, ppl that i dun normally talk to come n ask me is it true. so i totally agree with pheobe that girls only share n giggle around.
haha. actually not all girls like handsome leng zai one rite pheobe? but he cnt be too ugly oso la. for instance, i dun like a too handsome guy to be my bf coz i will feel insecure with all the girls launching at him. so scary!n soon u will get tired n want to give up coz the girls keep flirting with him. too ugly will reflect my poor taste. lols!
why u r so scared ur aunt n mom will know whether u have a gf? (actually i m scared too) nothing to be scared of...
ang moh like to trick n manipulate ppl oso. u dun believe me a? my fren in overseas studying tell me that his uni is full of all the proud, snobby n r all fake! wow, i hope i wont meet such ppl nxt year. haha, who tell u to go n put the ad?
LOL, no comment =P
Last time ba...I scare, now nevermind already =P
I know ang moh also trick people...but still...It feels better to be tricked by a ang moh rather than a malay guy...dunno why...I just dun like them. Yesterday was my 1st time speaking my lousy broken malay since dunno when liao =P
wow, 8 yrs.
well, I hv d same experience too. :P
juz tat I dun hv d guts to go confess.
so regret T_T...
well, wish u all d best in ur exam.
btw, lets hv a small gather b4 u r leaving to Perth, k?
renge>> haha i was tinking of that yesterday. let's go see a horror movie.
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